Invitation from Aloneness to Solitude

“It is in deep solitude and silence that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brother and my sister.” Thomas Merton

As I study the invitation of aloneness to solitude, it is amazing to know that this invitation is the most fundamental discipline that moves us from the business of the world to the presence of God. It is through solitude that we are able to develop intimacy with God.

So what is solitude? This invitation invites us to be alone with God, laying aside all social and activities of the world, and find solace in the presence of God. Jesus himself practiced solitude. He went into the wilderness to be alone before he started his public ministry, went to the mountain to be alone before he select his disciples and went to the garden to be alone before he sacrifice his life on the cross.

What is the meaning to go from aloneness to solitude? Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude. In our society today, we are filled with so many negative influences. We are trapped by these “negative voices” that put us into the temptation of self-rejection. We became addicted to the noise and crowds around us that we are so fearful to be alone. When we are alone, we feel lonely and empty.

Moving from aloneness to solitude is to find fulfillment of being alone with God. By changing and renewing our mind, we are able to break free from the fear of aloneness, and maintain the state of solitude at all time.

However, in the journey from aloneness to solitude is not without trials. We are so comfortable with our lifestyle. We want to be appearing important and significant to others. We want to be busy all the time. When we are call to be silence and be attentive to God, we will find ourselves struggling with our mind and thoughts.

As we allow ourselves open to God, there are many times we will face negative result such as dryness, depression and even lost. This is what St. John of the Cross called “The dark Night of the Soul.” As we removed all our false identity, being alone with God, we are forced to face our inner self. It is at these moments, God will nurture our souls. Our soul’s appetite will then change from the voice of the people, to the love and grace of God. We will no longer fear of being alone, but constantly experience the presence of God, even in our daily life.

I too face great difficulties as I journey into the state of solitude. I am a second child, with an elder and younger brother. Throughout my childhood, I have been crying for attention, do my best in everything I could in order to receive approval from people around us. As I face adulthood, I become so dependent on my friends.

When I practice the discipline of being, the question of ‘significant’ keeps popping out in my mind. God is dealing with my identity. If I were to strip off from all my credential, all my status, and all my achievement, who am I to God? I struggle to find my true self in God.

As I continue my journey to the state of solitude, I became aware of my selfishness in making relationship to people around me. I became aware of my perception of friendship which is really base on my personal benefits. I became so aware of my weaknesses which tear my self-confidence down to the drain.

However, God did not leave me there. After some time journeying to solitude, I found my true identity in Christ. My heart was filled with gladness that I was a child of God, love and care by Him. I was able to regain my confidence in life, not on myself, but on the grace given by God.

Today, as I relate to others, I can really appreciate those friendships. I can be alone with God and enjoy every moment of it. Although there are times there is the tendency to walk back the old ways, the temptation of the ‘significance’, and the feeling of loneliness still persist from time to time, yet, whenever I face such situations, I will be able to aware of it and move into solitude.

This invitation really helps me to understand many pilgrims who struggle with their life. It is because I am in solitude; I can see the image of God in the pilgrims’ life. I can relate with them in term of their struggles, but yet not being pulled down by their negativity because of my intimate relationship with God.

During my journey of solitude, I could pour out all my emotions and problems to God. Whenever I face difficulties with the seeker, I can come before God and pour out to Him. There in the state of solitude, God will hear me and help me regain my strength.