Friday, June 27, 2008

Reflecting My Journey as the Student Council President in BCM

Last Wednesday was my college's Student Council Annual General Meeting. We elected the new president and the new board of Student Council for the year 2008/09. First of all, congratulation to the new president, M. C. and the rest of the elected body. This board is indeed an opportunity for you to serve in another capacity. Take it with all your heart as it will reflect your ministry philosophy in the future.

After the election, I began to reflect my term as the Student Council president. Well, I can just say I learned some hard truths in life. There were high and low times as a president of the student body. Just as I learn to lead, I also learn to obey and trust God's people.

After a year of presidential, I have to admit I am so limited and imature in many ways. I thought I can do many things, but actually I can't. I realize there are things beyond our grasp, and we could hardly control. I thought I can challenge the student to be motivated about school's activities, but I ended up feeling passive about the school.

For me, it was a real struggle between benefit and values. I know that being able to lead as a president is an opportunity and I will be learning many values of life. However, as I face with pressure from different faces, struggling with school work, I begin to ask the question of "benefit." "Do I really have to do it? Why me? What benefit will I again afterall? Isn't there are people more capable than me in the school?"

I took time going through these questions, and I push myself to the core of it. "Who are you, Victor? Who has brought you here? Who you are serving?" As I question my own belief system, this indeed was the darkest fear in my life. It is a question of principle of life. It really push me to the limit when I started the "WiFi" system in the school. I almost giving up and really wanted to throw all my credibility out of the window and shout to the school, "Please Don't Find Me Anymore!"

However, God was merciful. He took me into the desert, and let me learn the lesson of submission that is above "duty." He then put a conviction into my heart; "Serve people, Serve God." I realize how far I am from that verse simply commandment. It was really tough but God was not absent. He was there and he led me through the wilderness experience.

If you ask me, is there anything you feel proud of throughout this year in the student council? Yes, indeed there are! My team of committee help to organize events such as Graduation Salute (Party for graduates), BCM Day (Food and Fun Fair), Festival Celebration (e.g. Christmas), WiFi system in the dorm and protecting the welfare of the student body.

However, if you ask me if there is anything you feel regret after a year of service? Yes, there are also. I lost my first focus when I step into the leadership position. When I was elected as president, I told God that there is one thing I must do is to re-create the spiritual dynamic that was once experience in the early revivals of BCM. Students will be so earnestly praying everyday, there were signs and wonders, the school itself impacting the surrounding community. Sadly, after I ended my term, I realize what I did throughout the year has far from my initial goal. Nevertheless, God is good. He has prepare the next committee to take the student body to a higher level.

There is another thing that I felt kinda miserable, is that I have not changed my attitude of laziness. Frankly speaking, being a president, you will decide whether to be busy one or an easy one. The direction is on your hand, and you choose your own plan. I have not taken my responsibility well to motivate the team and charge them to move into another level. Here is what I need to further work on with my attitude, my laziness, my leadership capacity and my vistion casting skills.

Nevertheless, I really thanks my committee for their effort to make our journey a memorable one. This is one way you that makes you remember the school forever. It is through our laughter, our tears, our conflicts and our partnership that we will make this school, a place that is special in our heart. From the bottom of my heart, thank you M.F., L.T., L.C., R.K., D.S., and M.C. (I try not to put full name to avoid unnecessary issues, but you know who you are). I also would like to thank our advisor, F.T. for her patient and willingness to guide our committee throughout the year.

To those who are leading voluteers out there (or perhaps the new board of student council), remember who you are dealing with. You cannot use the leadership system in the world to lead volunteers and BCM students. I have no answer for it, but you need to find out what is their need for motivation. As a president for a year, I realize that we need to first know who we are leading, then only we can lead well. However, this does not means that you can't ask commitment from them, but rather the opposite of it. It is really an art to ask commitment from voluteer that will give them a sense of motivation or significant. Remember, Jesus is our highest model. Allow Jesus to teach you leadership in a way that you never think off.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Invitation from Aloneness to Solitude

“It is in deep solitude and silence that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brother and my sister.” Thomas Merton

As I study the invitation of aloneness to solitude, it is amazing to know that this invitation is the most fundamental discipline that moves us from the business of the world to the presence of God. It is through solitude that we are able to develop intimacy with God.


So what is solitude? This invitation invites us to be alone with God, laying aside all social and activities of the world, and find solace in the presence of God. Jesus himself practiced solitude. He went into the wilderness to be alone before he started his public ministry, went to the mountain to be alone before he select his disciples and went to the garden to be alone before he sacrifice his life on the cross.

What is the meaning to go from aloneness to solitude? Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude. In our society today, we are filled with so many negative influences. We are trapped by these “negative voices” that put us into the temptation of self-rejection. We became addicted to the noise and crowds around us that we are so fearful to be alone. When we are alone, we feel lonely and empty.


Moving from aloneness to solitude is to find fulfillment of being alone with God. By changing and renewing our mind, we are able to break free from the fear of aloneness, and maintain the state of solitude at all time.


However, in the journey from aloneness to solitude is not without trials. We are so comfortable with our lifestyle. We want to be appearing important and significant to others. We want to be busy all the time. When we are call to be silence and be attentive to God, we will find ourselves struggling with our mind and thoughts.

As we allow ourselves open to God, there are many times we will face negative result such as dryness, depression and even lost. This is what St. John of the Cross called “The dark Night of the Soul.”
As we removed all our false identity, being alone with God, we are forced to face our inner self. It is at these moments, God will nurture our souls. Our soul’s appetite will then change from the voice of the people, to the love and grace of God. We will no longer fear of being alone, but constantly experience the presence of God, even in our daily life.

I too face great difficulties as I journey into the state of solitude. I am a second child, with an elder and younger brother. Throughout my childhood, I have been crying for attention, do my best in everything I could in order to receive approval from people around us. As I face adulthood, I become so dependent on my friends.

When I practice the discipline of being, the question of ‘significant’ keeps popping out in my mind. God is dealing with my identity. If I were to strip off from all my credential, all my status, and all my achievement, who am I to God? I struggle to find my true self in God.


As I continue my journey to the state of solitude, I became aware of my selfishness in making relationship to people around me. I became aware of my perception of friendship which is really base on my personal benefits. I became so aware of my weaknesses which tear my self-confidence down to the drain.


However, God did not leave me there. After some time journeying to solitude, I found my true identity in Christ. My heart was filled with gladness that I was a child of God, love and care by Him. I was able to regain my confidence in life, not on myself, but on the grace given by God.


Today, as I relate to others, I can really appreciate those friendships. I can be alone with God and enjoy every moment of it. Although there are times there is the tendency to walk back the old ways, the temptation of the ‘significance’, and the feeling of loneliness still persist from time to time, yet, whenever I face such situations, I will be able to aware of it and move into solitude.


This invitation really helps me to understand many pilgrims who struggle with their life. It is because I am in solitude; I can see the image of God in the pilgrims’ life. I can relate with them in term of their struggles, but yet not being pulled down by their negativity because of my intimate relationship with God.

During my journey of solitude, I could pour out all my emotions and problems to God. Whenever I face difficulties with the seeker, I can come before God and pour out to Him. There in the state of solitude, God will hear me and help me regain my strength.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Spiritual Death is More Painful than Physical Death

Today I am really shocked by the respond of a youth in my church. As I asking him to come to church tomorrow, he reply in the most unexpected answer. He told me he will never come to church again. I asked him why, but he told me there is no reason.

It is my greatest shock for this year to know that this brother gave up on church. So many questions came to my mind. Is it the church program that cause him to give up? Is it the people, pastor or me? All this while, this brother were so faithful in the church. But these few weeks, it seems many things happen in his life that stop him from coming to church. I don't want to write more about what is going on in this brother's life because he has already made his decision.

What I want to reflect today, is the pain in my heart. Last few months, my grandpa past away. My grandpa and I were very close together. People say I am the replica of my grandpa. Of course, the day he passed away, I was sad and grief. However, I know that he went to the place far better than this place.

However, today, my youth is giving up on church. The possibility of loosing his faith become higher as well. To me, this is as if spiritualy, he has pass away. However, not to a better place, but to a darker and wordly place. In the eyes of men, he seems to have more time now to enjoy his life. It seems to have less responsibles (no need to serve in the church) and life seems to be simple (no more rules and spiritual disciplines). Yet, in the spiritual realm, the person heart's harden and now even harder to come back to faith in God.

My heart felt so sad, till I could hardly speak. My body became restless and tired. I pray to God and crying in my heart. The sadness compare to the death of my grandpa is far greater. This is a fine young man, who have tasted the sweetness of Christ, yet forsake it to pursue his own life.

I can't write anymore. It is too sad... Please pray for me. Pray for my youth as well.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Fight to be SIGNIFICANT!


After so many months without blogging, finally last Sunday I revived my blog. Surprisingly there are people following through my blog. If you are reading my blogs, I do hope that you will follow through my discussion. It is my joy to know that what I wrote would help you in your life. Although I have not right things that are too complicated, but sometimes, simple things in life have many lessons to be learned from. I also encourage you reader out there to give me comments, whether you agree with me or not, good or bad comments will certainly add life to this blog. Thanks for those who commented, your words are treasure to me.

Yesterday I wrote a paper on the six invitations of soul cares for my counseling course. One o the invitation of soul cares is the invitation of solitude. Solitude is one of the fundamental practice of Christian Spiritual Disciplines. If you are interested to know more about it, let me know by your comment, then I will write a blog on it.

The paper was my personal reflection on the six invitations and how it help me to be a companion for others. In the invitation of solitude, one of the main point that I stress in the fight of being "SIGNIFICANT."

People are fighting to earn their significant on this world. From young, we try to study hard so that our parents found us significant in the family. When we grow older, we try to work hard so that we feel being needed by the company and family. As we grow old, we try to play hard so that our children will see us significant to the family. However, when we study hard, work hard and play hard, and result doesn't turn to be what we expected, we felt frustrated. If the cycle goes a few round, bitterness will start to root in our heart. Then we will form what people say "low self-esteem."

The invitation to solitude call us to come before God and find significant in Him. Today, if I removed all your status, your credentials, your job, and everything, who are you in Christ? Do you have any sense of significant left on this world if you are called a "nobody" in the other people's eye?

Today, let me just invite you to come before God. As you come before Him, lay aside all your burden, your carrier, your responsibility, and just be you. Allow God to help you to find significant in Him alone. Then, you will be able to stand and face the world with the Godly-image.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Father's Day

Today my local church (First Assembly of God Church, Pudu) had our Father's Day Celebration. We brought forward our celebration because next week is the closing ceremony for the ongoing Live to Grow Campaign. The picture beside is my father (wearing white shirt). He is really a joy giver in our family. I designate this post to my dad, the person I respect.

I really learned a lot from the speaker in today's message. He preached with the acronym F.A.T.H.E.R.

F - Family Man not Forgetful Man
A - Amiable not Accusing
T - Trainer not Terrorist
H - Head not Herd
E - Educator not Enemy
R - Revivalist not Recidivist

I have a good father.As I reflect upon today's message, I am glad that My dad really portray the above quality. He cares for the family. He is approachable. He teaches us to love our mother. He shows us how serious he is with his faith. He make decision in the family and he impart his value system to us.

Living in a healthy and lovely family, I grown up with a good progress. I really agree with the speaker that without the father's love, we will face problem with our identity, our social skills, our moral values, and our lifestyle.

So, all the fathers out there! Be a good father. Take responsibility. Don't just tell your children what to do, but show them with your life.

Children like me, be glad that you have a father on earth who cares for you. Uphold your dad in your daily prayer. May God bless the fathers around the world that they will be godly, matured, lovely, resourceful and responsible.

Happy Father's Day!